Random Thoughts on a Lonely Monday Night

Michelle and I are both home from the hospital, and after having had to run to the pharmacy for supplies for Michelle, I find myself "out of a job" again. Michelle is resting comfortably on the couch, my parents are watching TV, and Elizabeth is sleeping. I, therefore, have nothing to do, and no role to fill currently. So, I'm typing on the compuer. This is going to be a lot more stream-of-consciousness than I am used to.

I am wearing hospital bracelets on my left wrist, both of which provide me with full, unrestricted access to my child at my whim. If you've read the blog earlier, you know that on May 15, I stopped wearing a watch completely. For the past few days now, I'm finding myself randomly looking down at my wrist, expecting it to tell me something other than coded data about my son, known on my wrist as "Boy Calabresi". It's annoying, as I seem to have developed a nervous tic with glancing at my wrist frequently, yet knowing there's nothing there. I wonder if it's the same thing as randomly checking the refrigerator when one is hungry, although there is obviously nothing materializing behind the door.

I found myself thinking a lot recently about my need for personal time on a daily basis, and I hope that my family can understand that I need some time every day to just be with myself. It's not that I don't want to spend time with them -- although sitting in front of the television watching what passes for "situation comedy" does not appeal to me in the least -- but rather a need to just go off and be alone for a while. I'm glad that that is being respected so far, especially after a week of not really taking any time for myself at all.

I'm still gathering ideas for characters for a story... there's a person sitting in my head now, and has been for a while, that is aching to get out and be put on paper. I'm not sure how well I know this person yet, or even how he's going to be in the long run, but I know some aspects of him, and he seems to be a generally good guy. I'm going to spend some time tomorrow getting to know him, I think, and then see what I can put down about him.

One of the things I'm looking forward to about getting a laptop is combining my alone, my creative time with time spent with my family. I can sit in front of the TV and tune it out while physically being in the same room as my family, yet be focused on getting ideas down and meeting new people at the same time. I do see myself as a writer... a writer of music, a writer of words... it's definitely an artistic side of me that I do love exploring...

I am so looking forward to a decent shower and shave tomorrow morning. There are a couple of telephone calls that I need to make, and some errands that need need need to be run first thing in the morning, before anything else, even before going to the hospital. I'm thinking we should start brown-bagging our lunch from here, and using our funds wisely, namely, for gasoline. The funds that were collected from my co-workers were magical and timely, and lasted just until Michelle's hospital stay ended. I ate very little, too!

I had come up with an alternate title for my blog, since "A Year In the Life" isn't going to cut it, as I have officially decided to keep this going beyond one year. However, I have forgotten it. Here's hoping that I will be able to creatively pursue this and remember my original title.

Hope everything is going well on the home front. I am expecting a package from Germany, and do not want that to stall at the post office. I may have to return to Tucson sooner than expected, if anything just to get some supplies. Plus, returning to Tucson will break the monotony for me, and allow me to feel more in my element by helping others out. Although, to be honest, the drive is going to KILL me. Especially with how hot it has been up here, and in the States overall. The weather report just came on the television today, and the high temperature today was a whopping 111ºF. Pretty hot day, pretty hot day...